Saturday, June 12, 2010




Monday, May 31, 2010

vintage highwaisted

4 more papers to go ~~ D:
and i've just inherited an entire treasure trove of vintage highwaisted jeans from my mum :D
which she was keeping for " when i slim down " and
" my future daughter ".

my mum : hahaha now i can laugh at your papa cos he said you'd never wear any of my stuff cos it'll be outdated. proved him wrong! :D

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Nana just showed me a really inspirational speech from Steve Job, thanks for sharing! (:
This video definitely hits home and the connecting the dots part is the one i like most,
because it's one of the thoughts i live by; that everything happens for a reason.
One day when i look back on all the good and bad in my life, i'm going to be happy they happened to bring me where i am, where i'm supposed to be.
It's the very same phrase that keeps me going now, each time i face a hiccup and the one that keeps me grounded with every good thing that happens.

Friday, May 28, 2010

get loose

Just got back from supper with the dancers who attended the workshop and loose joint himself.
It was probably one of the most enriching dance classes i've ever attended, the techniques, the way he moved, the history of hiphop and most importantly the way of dance.

dance because you love it (: dance to be your best.
getdown in a bit, i just want to be my best.

Life's getting more interesting, and you know, the world needs more self awareness, lesser people who are too quick to bash and hmmmm to loosen up more. (no pun intended)
today was an awesome day :D


Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Staring at the list i've got pasted infront of me. Big dreams. But i'll get there, i've let one too many slip past.

Today i had two cheese sandwiches, tons of orange clorets, half a mango, and a mouthful of noodles. Food no longer interests me, i just eat to live. Maybe it's cos i've stopped baking and cooking that i'm so unaware of what i put into my mouth now. I haven't had a craving in a bit, which is abnormal.

I've been downing tons of pills though, glucosamine, multivitamins, cod liver pills, omega pills. i feel like one of those health junkies now. but i guess it's all been helping~ i havent had a severe migraine in quite a bit, i havent seen my doctor in ages and i've been able to wake up in mornings.

yea, pointless post i just had some stuff to unload. Feeling pretty stiffened now.
right, time for bpharm.

Monday, May 24, 2010


There's a mountain of stress, tests, goals just piling up but just sitting on my bed and looking around at my messy room, I'm happy.

Genuinely happy and thankful. It's been a long, long way and it's been a long time since i last felt this kind of happiness. It's inexplicable, but it's wonderful.

Home is where the heart is :')
Sweet dreams world.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


"I remember hearing my own heartbeat as I rose out of bed and stood in the shower. The water was not hot, but lukewarm. I had not been able to take a hot shower for months. The heat from the water made me ill and lately, that's all that I ever felt: ill. My stomach was constantly upset, I slept about 10 hours a night and took several naps throughout the day. I either ate huge portions of food or none at all. I woke every morning, anticipating that I would feel better. I had been in and out of the doctor's office for months and my doctor could not figure out what was wrong with me. I couldn't figure out what was causing my illnesses either, but with him by side, everything would be fine... Right?

Showers never eased the pain in my fatigued muscles. Probably because I could never take one in peace... *Bing!* .. "Oh lord," I thought to myself. "is that my phone? Again? What does he want now?" this was a frequent thought throughout my daily, morning routine. I would always step out of the shower to answer my phone, despite my being reluctant to do so. The water from my long, black hair would always drip right on to the screen of my cellphone. I secretly wished that the phone would break from water damage, because that would offer me some liberty... Right?

I always felt so silly standing in a lukewarm shower, responding to his text or e-mail. But I felt compelled to do so anyway and despite numerous attempts to ignore his message(s), the guilt always became too much for me to bear. "If I don't respond, he will just text me again and he will accuse me of not caring." Those were usually my thoughts when I contemplated just not picking up my phone. Stupid cellphone. He communicated with me via. every outlet; facebook, e-mail, text messages, phone calls. He used every outlet, every day without fail. It was exhausting. But he was amazing... Right?

"You're lucky you found me," that is one of the first things that he said to me after we had been together for a few days. Back then, I did feel lucky. He paid attention to me. He cared about me. He asked me about my day and about my feelings. He made me laugh and he gave me the best hugs that I had ever felt. His scent was sweet and mysterious.. His hands were large and despite their calluses, they used to trace secret messages across my back so perfectly. It was a trick.. Soon, I found myself at the mercy of his mouth, his temper and his desires. His words became my command, his mood became my own, his happiness was more important than mine, his desires became my wants and his needs were all that I cared about. I found myself anxious. I found myself walking on eggshells, constantly aiming to please him. "This is not me... What am I doing?" this thought was frequent too. But I didn't have time to worry. I had to work harder because if I worked harder he would finally realize that I was a good girl that would never cheat on him, as his previous girlfriend had. He would accept me then.

"Why do you wear heels? You know that I hate when you're taller than me. I won't go out with you in public if you wear those. Take them off and put on some flat shoes," I laughed. He said the same thing every time I put on a heel. Laugh. That's all that I could do. His insecurities were humorous to me and at the time, kind of flattering. He always questioned me about everything. Everything was a question and he had the answer; the right answer. We would get into arguments and my feelings would quickly be dismissed because "I misunderstood" something that he said. Or I was "immature" and therefore upset by his actions or comments. He never yelled at me. That was a trick... A trick that made me believe that he was a decent man. He never hit me or yelled at me.

If he got mad at me, he would just stop speaking to me. I felt pathetic as I would beg for his forgiveness - the phone calls, text messages and dedication of songs were never enough. I was non-existent to him for several hours. But I deserved it. I made him mad. The silent treatment was my punishment... Just as I felt compelled to answer his messages in the shower, I felt compelled to beg him for his forgiveness. I felt the urge, the lust for forgiveness. I could not stand the thought of him being angry at me. He was my daily life, my world. And I was his... Right?

Soon, I stopped wearing heels altogether. I stopped wearing dresses too. My usually fancy, fashionable wardrobe was replaced with fake ugg boots and sweatpants - a wardrobe that he approved of. I started lying to him about my workouts just so he would stop talking down to me about my "lack of activities." but the gym was not the same without my (former) best friend, who I used to work out with. I couldn't go the gym without her! But he had informed me that she was a "shitty" friend and to stop talking to her. So I did... But nothing was good enough. I began lying about where I was and what I was doing, just because I feared making him angry. He couldn't know that I had male friends because he would just accuse me of trying to make him jealous. All of my friends (girlfriends included) were "idiots, immature and not worth his company" according to him. He was right, I really did have some lousy friends. Or so I thought... My family was "crazy" he said. This was his reasoning for refusing to meet any of my family members despite the fact that I had met every single member of his. He said that he seriously considered not seeing me anymore because of my family. He called these thoughts "red flags." And according to him, there were "many red flags." these red flags made me anxious.. "Oh my God, I can't raise anymore flags... He'll dump me." these thoughts kept me so scared...

My illnesses all but disappeared. Attending class became a daily struggle. My muscles hurt, my mind hurt. I was glued to my cell phone, at all times. I even began texting while in class just so he wouldn't accuse me of not caring. My grades slipped, my relationships suffered. I began isolating myself because my time was simply dedicated to him. I couldn't see any of this, at the time, of course and reflecting on it now, I still can not fully understand how I allowed for all of it to take place...

He made me laugh. He offered me so much. He was fun, handsome, caring. His family was wonderful. This is truly what I believed while I was with him and on the rare occasion that I thought differently, he made sure to remind me of what he had to "offer me" and how "lucky" I was. I had to support him and I had to admire him. I made sure I laughed when we talked, smiled when we were silent and despite the fact that my desperate attempts at pleasing him were taking over my entire life, I felt as though it was worth it. But it was all an illusion..

"He's abusing you, Kaitee." I was paralyzed in bed, when a friend of mine told me this. My friend is highly educated and one of the most intelligent people that I know. I felt disgusted. That was the first feeling that I had felt in days... Our relationship had finally ended. It had ended before, but I really thought that it was over this time. I had finally decided to let go simply because I could no longer entertain the thought of pleasing him. I was suffering. I was completely distraught and now this? How dare this woman sit at the foot of my bed and tell me that the man that I care for so deeply, is abusing me? I thought to myself, "but he didn't hit me... Is she stupid!? He is not abusive." my friend handed me a printout. On this printout was a wheel and in this wheel were the characteristics of an abusive partner. The following characteristics were included:

-The other person places unreasonable demands on you and wants you to put everything else aside to tend to their needs.
-It could be a demand for constant attention, or a requirement that you spend all your free time with the person.
-But no matter how much you give, it's never enough.
-You are subjected to constant criticism, and you are constantly berated because you don't fulfill all this person's needs.
-Denying a person's emotional needs, especially when they feel that need the most, and done with the intent of hurting, punishing or humiliating (Examples)
-The other person may deny that certain events occurred or that certain things were said. confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, "I never said that," "I don't know what you're talking about," etc. You know differently.
-The other person may deny your perceptions, memory and very sanity.
Withholding is another form of denying. Withholding includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the "silent treatment."

I had enough of that list and threw it back at her. *Bing!* it was him again, I smiled. "He needs me," I thought. Much to the dismay of my friend, I answered. I talked to him for the rest of the day.

The following day, my friend returned with the list. I looked at it again and I thought that I might faint. I felt my heart beat again and my stomach grew uneasy... "How could I not have seen this? He does ALL of this and more!" I sobbed and I only left my bed to go to the restroom for the remainder of the week. I cut all contact with him that day and I have not spoken to him since.

I am no longer ill. I can take the hottest showers, my stomach is fine. I can sleep and I no longer feel fatigued. I suspect that the stress from constantly worrying about him caused my immune system to shut down. After I got over the initial shock of realizing the abuse, I stopped feeling ill. I have recovered physically, however, I have not recovered mentally. I now suffer from extreme insecurities. I am no longer a confident person and I suspect that is why I have my days where I miss him and sometimes I even wonder if he was indeed abusive. But most days, I wake up and I feel liberated. I feel free. He took a lot from me. More than I could have ever imagined. But a lot of my girlfriends have been supportive. And surprisingly enough, a majority of them have survived this type of abusive themselves.

I used to think that I was above abuse. I am 5'10'' tall. I have lived all over the world. I am a former model, I have been on TV, I have friends who are celebrities. I am intelligent, powerful and strong. No man was ever going to make me feel lesser or tell me how to feel, what to wear and who to hang out with. I was above abuse. And I would never be weak enough to put up with that type of behavior... Or so I thought.

This situation humbled me and it has shaken me to my core. I lost friends, grades and almost my very life to this man. I am currently rebuilding the life that I lost and I realized that a man does not need to hit you in order to be abusive towards you. I am telling my story on here because had I known about Emotional Abuse, I might have been able to avoid it myself. I am determined to fight back. This is just the beginning.. " "

- Le love

Sometimes people dont realise they're in an abusive relationship because the signs are so subtle. No hitting, no yelling, sometimes, not even upfront putting down. But the constant subtle yet emotionally abusive actions from the other party sends your life upside down. Sometimes, the person doing all that doesn't even realise how much they're wrecking your life. The sad part is how you only realise it's all done, so much later ... and so much of your life and chances have been wasted.

But, only you can save yourself.
and never forget those who stayed with you.

boy gaga

I saw this video on Greyson Chance performing Lady gaga's cover of PAPARAZZI in some church talent show and was just blown away by this voice. This video's on him appearing in Ellen Degeneres' talk show and wow wow wow wow wow. Watching him just makes me think.... why are girls crazy about justin bieber instead?

and i just drafted out a monthly expenditure to cover everything and zomg hahahahaha i nearly lol-ed looking at it. Maybe it's cos i calculated everything to the maximum.... D: covers everything from transport to dance to phone bill to food. must earn to support myself comfortably!

kay off to do tutorial.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

disclaimer: rant/self soothe alert

Yet another week gone that. The year's been passing a little too fast huh? It's like suddenly it's half a year gone, few more months and i'm out of school. Glad to be out of it, yet sometimes the unpredictability scares the fuck out off me. I never imagined myself to be flagging a 10k pay but i never quite put myself near a low range pay either. With uni out of my mind at least not in the next few years, I'm really really just testing the waters. And i really do not want to fail, the thought of failing in any sense irks me. Been failing too much of late, at least in my own standards, and i need to break that streak.

Anyway i've had something , this little prick nagging at the back of my head for a long time and i just had to let it out today ( Since it's a rant/selfsoothe/thoughtvomit post, i might as well just do it all at one shot ).

That little prick is well, just people who cant keep their mouths shut when they're supposed to. I dont mean people who shoot their mouths off at the wrong moments or use the wrong words, tact needs to be honed sometimes. It's the people who mess around with your trust by saying things they know they shouldn't. When someone confides in you, problems or secrets, they trust you. And repaying that trust by telling someone else the contents with a " it's just between you and me" , is not okay. I've been a victim of such incidences and finding out the truth sends an immediate WTF throbbing through every vein, either that or I've seen it happen to someone else. No particular incident to spark that thought, it's just recurrent. I wished people would see that trust isn't something to be lightly played around with.

Tonight's one of those nights whereby i'm so overwhelmed by thoughts that i wished my physical surroundings compensated for my mental clutter. Been thinking about how wonderful it would be to just return to a nice nearly empty house... white wash walls, beachfront view, white chiffon curtains, lovely breeze, my 6 cats, huge bed with fluffy pillows, a nice porcelain bathtub and of course, the company of yobo. It's one of those vexing moments when you only want the company of people who get you in entity or just soothe you. My cats and yobo definitely do it. Nobody gets me like you do, and for that i cant feel anymore lucky that each day i wake up knowing that i have you.

Rant moment passed and i no longer feel as angsty. Vexed, yes, but feeling better and i lost my train of thoughts. Right, back to some literal organising.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Been crazy busy- school, session, kohlandrouge and an upcoming project :D. Sometimes i feel like i'm about to burst at the seams. And when i give myself time to take a breather, my brain's still thinking about something else. Some unfinished task, some idea manifesting in my head. Feels like work overload for the brain.

Sessions have been daunting. nobody gets my problem, i think it's out-of-the-world for most. Like who the hell hears only one layer of music?! But huge thanks to rahim, keiths and yobo for trying to help me. It's weird i guess, i dont try to take in all the beats.. it just happens. It's way way way way harder for me to listen to one single layer than to take in everything D: it's kinda depressing, okay more like very. I tried differentiating all the layers while listening to songs today, it was bloody difficult and draining. Makes me so envious watching others who can play around with the layers so easily... okay i must not give up!

The progress for the manufactured piece is going well (: the fabrics and colours and dimensions are all done. Now i'm left with the tag, the deposit and i'm all done! And a one month wait and zomg i'm gonna keep each colour for myself :D

Get Down next week, then term tests and squeezing in sessions and studying and projects and TheProject and kohlandrouge. whooa~then once holiday starts it's a full dive in on everything else :D

Honestly, i look back on my life now and really just get quite taken aback at how things are like. As much as my future is unpredictable, it is just as well alluring. It's a huge contrast to my ramrod straight perception of a life in the past. I'm no longer following the standard steps blindly but actually paving my own way for something else. If i reach my goals, i do it well. But if i dont, it's going to be one hard fall. That said, bring it on, only time can tell what would be in for me.

kay. pic spam!


These were at the zoo (: okay more to come!


Previous sessions! (:



Thursday, May 13, 2010

Today i thought i was late for school then i realised my clock was half an hour faster and i started to do everything slowly so that i'll reach school right on time. I mean half an hour does seem like alot doesn it? So i strolled and the most lepak pace ever... and when i was nearing school, i realised i forgot my labcaot tmd. So i made a crazy dash home to grab it. Either way i would have been a dead duck. Jomer would have death stared me if i was without it, dr chooi would death stare me if i were late. And i was wearing a knitted pullover, it was 12 pm, i was caryring a gigantic bag and wearing loafers. Not a good combi for a sprint. And i almost fell down the stair and sprained my ankle but i was on time. phew.

Then during tutorial doctor oh told me he didn't receive my tutorial. I felt like dying. It's graded, i cracked my brain thinking of what to write just so i could score as much as possible. And i might have to redo now, because i doubt he's that careless to not notice my paper so that means i probably put bit in the wrong pigeon hole. Shit. It's like sometime you do something well and you know the second time would never be that good again. UGH.

And yesterday yobo and i had the most telepathic moment by far. Even far far more than whatever we had when we were still b1 and b2 and twins with alot in common. So we're about to cross the road and i'm having "She will be loved" going on in my head, and like a couple of secs after it starts in my head. YOBO SINGS IT OUT LOUD IN THE EXACT SAME VERSE AS WHERE I WAS. O.O YEA I KNOW O.O O.O O.O. i was like OMGGGGGGGG !

Yea uh huh.
Do you think you're thinking what i'm thinking b1?
I think i'm thinking what you're thinking b2.
Definitely, mwah love you fat boy.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Had husbandry with nina and ryan yesterday and it was super fun even though we were messing up everything at first. 3 months of my life would be spent like this every day, not too bad i guess! I've been liking school more, the subjects, the environment and the only reason i dread going to school is just because i want to sleep more.

Dance has been .. bad. The music just becomes one layer when i get excited, then i end up doing shit. Need to relaaaaax and listen. Relax and listen relax and listen. Yea but i'm damn hyped up about sessions and there's reggae later!

Blogshop stagnant. *slaps self* I just want it to be perfect on the launch but everything's not how i want it to be yet. But i have an entire list of things planned out and i am excited :D :D :D :D :D

FATBOY JUST GOT A JOB! Probably the most unexpected job i would have thought of him getting. You know like 22-year-old-handsome-hyper-beatboxing-dancing-fatty and bus captain controller just... do not go together. Yea but free bus rides to my house whooohoo! And 9 days of off in a month is pretty awesome.


This cat from haji that we were disturbing and sayang-ing which also constantly gave off the fuck-off-i-want-to-sleep vibe. But it is crazy adorable, even with the killer vibe and stare, it was sweet tempered enough not to maul us.


Fatty eating taiwanese fried chicken. Nice. Diet always starts tomorrow.
And my name cards for kohlandrouge!!!!!!!!!! mega happy with them, they're exactly how i want them to be (: And $48 for 3 double sided packs done in an hour is really quite a good deal even though i wouldnt say the quality's the best. But.. good enough!


2 picstures from the bad flea, hope the next one would be better! But it's airconditioned and i got comfy seats but bad location, it's like few people walk up the platform to see the stalls so yea ): balls. it's at Club Seven at Illuma by the way.


At SD before reggae starts with docorc in the background. Yep i have a center parting nowzxzx ( yea i can hear all the hahahahaha-ing). Hair is just growing ~ and fringe looks weird side so center's been the best. Still not intending to cut my hair soon though, i wanted to try something shorter and more layered but growing out my hair for another 2 years is like ..NAH. So yea, i'll be chanelling my cash to more important things until my hair starts having a life of it's own.

Right, note packing and lab. I hate bringing the labcoat to school. Labcoat + jacket + dance wear = bloody heavy bag. k bye.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

jade lee xinyi. i miss you.
goh min yu. i miss you.
yeo jia hui jonas. i miss you.
brian cheok zhiming. i miss you.
fat boy, you know i always do.

okay that was random but yea i miss the above a lot. A whole lot.

Anyway, FLEA TODAY WAS BAD): Was really looking forward to tons of sales because well, i trust FMI and their fleas. But it sucked. Slow traffic and even worse location within the place D: Guess it's all about mother's day and it's sunday.. people just wanna curl up in a ball on their beds to wait for monday. And hearing that yesterday's flea was WAY better made me feel like. shiiit why dint i take it. But well, more fleas to come! I'm not giving up.

And i kinda dislike my voice.

Friday, May 07, 2010

9 in the morning of a lovely saturday after a well spent friday recuperating and all. Lovely until someone decided that it is okay to just lump every kind of setback and slowdown imaginable to a relationship. When things aren't proceeding as fast paced as successful as the outside world deems fit, there's only one person to blame. It's just not alright to pull it all together to point fingers at someone else. A choice made is a choice.

And really? What do you know? What have you seen? Do you realise the state of things?
No, no and no.
And i will prove you wrong.

Thursday, May 06, 2010


Just for those who love couple photography, looking at pictures to do with love, enticed by lelove and all.
I just found treasure!

i cant wait to upgrade from something like this....


To something like all those photos! :D

save yourself.

Today was a pretty bad day I'd say.

First of all i overslept and missed my BPharm lecture. Since i feel like BPharm is a little like mgen/mbio whereby you miss lectures and not fill your notes with scribblings means you wont understand shit= alot of catching up.

And then when i'm done and ready to head out with time enough for me to reach school on time.. I have to hunt for my labcoat. Which is terribly frustrating because my house is well.. my house. I have not laid a finger on my labcoat since last week and i remember very clearly where i last left it. Since everyone denies having any form of interaction with it, i presume my labcoat grew legs and ran away.

I came to school flustered and late. fuck that labcoat with legs.

During practical we had to stick metal rods ( i forgot what they were called ) down the throats of the lab rats. It's a scientific practice but i find it inhumane, just an opinion. I don't know, it just feels like there should be something less traumatising than this method, for the rats i mean. Hearing them squeak and seeing them struggle and gag just made me go weak-kneed and i felt like crying. I am very obviously a pussy when it comes to causing animals any form of discomfort, scientific purposes or not. It's like the ultimate most horrible deep throating ever. I would never allow anyone with the intention of sticking a metal rod down my throat come within a 10 foot radius of me.

And lastly was reggae, i had so many thoughts spiralling around in my head just now. But now it's just a plain .. I am not okay. I'm not even comparing myself to anyone, I'm just staring at myself, beig aware of my body and realising all the flaws. Of course i'm going to continue training and even harder, but it's just pretty demoralizing when you realise you don't get it. When you learn steps slow, when you lose focus so easily, when music sense isn't second nature to you and it feels foreign... help? Because this time round I'm really stuck.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Had one of the best sessions ever in RP which left me drained. Man i got tired so quickly. Plus I'm kinda mopey about my dance now, it's STUCK. I know what's wrong but i don't know how to get past it, it's always the same advice , i need some sort of revelation. It's always been feel feel feel for me even way back and music is really one big blur to me. So many details in a song, yet i can only see it as a whole, all the nitty gritty details just smudged over... I need to understand music. Fast.

Tuesday Yobo and i got our Pentax in red. The camera makes it look really toy-like but i like it. Big mad thanks to the brother who came to my rescue with the bucks :D but had an awkward conversation with the fat boy. There's a lot to learn and i'm hyped about it (: Can't wait to master using the pentax.

Collected stocks and i wish i could keep every single piece. So i'm excited for the launch after the first batch ( photos taken by TBS waaaay back ) :D *cross my fingers* First manufactured piece still needs about a month or sooo, i wish it'll hurry up!

and our couple rings which we wear on our thumbs (:

and a picture from joey's birthday at Alps Cafe. It feels weird to be back there, and having some memory playbacks. Tried alot of new drinks that night with Bacardi 151 taking the title of the bomb. alright sleep time.

Sunday, May 02, 2010


I haven't worked a proper job in quite a bit, it's just been my blogshop for the past one over year? Even so, that was pretty erratic. So now that I'm on a revival with the shop, I'm just trying to earn/save as much money so that i can do a good one. Not crazy penniless but all my cash already has somewhere to go to and i need that sense of security from money.

Benji needed someone for a stand in and i jumped at the chance! It's at tampines one very very short working hours, pay's good ( i love events jobs) so for about 5-6 hours of work i got $60 which is awesome! But they are currently gonna be chanelled to namecards/boards/clothes rack for the upcoming flea sooo yea... nothing for me.

Apart from freezing my butt off, getting snubbed by annoying kids i'd say it's pretty great.
All that i had to do was to walk up to strangers and getting them to try the free face/body painting, when you say it's FREE. Their "er no thanks" immediately changes.


Last day of work, tada!

Saturday, May 01, 2010

This too shall pass

Initially i planned on getting " everything happens for a reason, this too shall pass" for my second ink. But found it a wee bit too pessimistic because i viewed the second line in a one way. Like, oh shit happens, it'll pass anyway-kinda way. Then last week i read an interview with Mitch Albom, the author of Tuesdays with Morrie, which totally changed the way i viewed it.

here goes:

" The king gave a jewelery-maker 3 days to make him a ring that would in his down time , remind him that there is goodness to come and that he'll tide it through; and in his moments of joy, remind him of the pain and suffering of the commonfolk. The maker thought for days and finally at the end of the 3 days, he made a ring that had neither gems or fancy jewels. It was a simple gold band and engraved on it were the simple words " this too shall pass" . "

I have a rekindled love for that entire phrase again (:

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Need somewhere to breathe

These are the nights when i hate my house. Yes just the house, this stupid shell. I wished i had airconditioning on the warm nights, a water heater for the cold nights, a clean neat house for one in this state is so difficult to undo, and my own room. So that i could have my privacy and peace of mind that when i come back home i have a little space i can retreat to to have a little comfort. This lack of personal space is going to drive me up the wall sooner or later.


Last week, i got free masks from some magazine coupon and decided to treat the fat boy to a facial!



And i got my weekly supply of lollipops from the fatty to keep me company and they've been my companions on the many long bus rides. My eternal contracted lollipop supplier :D

Reggae class was great (: It's been my first 2 after months and the more i do it the more the feel's all coming back. i cant wait for all the many dance events to pop up the many sessions to come, it just makes me so excited. And a talk yesterday , made me realise that being a victim of the double edged sword isn't all that bad is it? It can be the most tiring, confusing and frustrating experience but that's what makes our life , or our hearts in fact,...better. I read something today and all i can say is , I'm glad you went through it (:

It's been quite a weird one hour before bedtime, reading certain things and thinking of certain stuff. Weird alright, but it's all good, it's all good.