Wednesday, August 12, 2009

confused and contradicting.


This is effing awesome and i don think it applies just to love. I think it's about everything else in life as well, friends, dreams, goals. Everything that is transient, with would be everything.

Sometimes you cant help but be invisible in some way.
Two ways, it goes two ways.
How do you feel so much pain but bear to be so heartless?
I don't understand you one bit, not one bit at all.
Sometimes i think i do. Other times, i don't.
You're like sand, when i think that i've finally got you, all i want to do is hold on so tightly, because i don't want to comb the whole world to find you again. But that's the thing about you, when i hold on tight, thinking this is finally it... you slip through my fingers.

And when i hold you a little more loosely, you slip away, the same way you did when i held on tightly. I thought since tight reins din't work, maybe freedom would. But it didn't.

What scares me the most is that there isn't a middle ground. I'll either find you or i don't. I've been searching, for the longest time, and i think i'll be searching for a long time. I wish i could find you quickly, thinking about you the whole day trying to find you, trying to finally have you, the real you, drives me up the wall sometimes.

Right now, I'm seeing traces of what i used to have, used to think i love. And that scares the shit out of me. Even though it might have seemed that all was easy on my side, it never was. It never will be to the people who truely understand me. Still, i'm trying, i'm willing to try, willing to throw everything in, because i feel very very much alive this time round. Maybe this could be it, maybe it wont be.

who's to say? It wont kill me.

Go Basic Instinct (:

i've got faith in us. Just 2 more days, i'm putting everything else on hold.

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