Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Yesterday, my mum quit her job. I know this sounds really inappropriate but there's this sense of elation and relief just chalking up inside me. It's been so long since she has really done something for herself and hopefully, this is just the starting of more things to come. Not only has it beenlong since she has done something for herself, it's been long since she has done something for herself, BY herself. It's always the seconding of opinion that she needs but this time it's just " fuck you, you short-changing bastards. you can kiss my ass".

And she does seem so much happier and i like it. I miss the old her, the her before this UCB ( flooded with trouble-causing cbs ) warped her personality. The choice between that other idiot and her, if only her boss had chosen the other side of the coin and put her in-charge, perphaps things would be so much better for the company.

then again, this just shows how fragile and unpredictable life is . Like how one moment she's slogging her guts out for this unappreciative and vile company, and the next, she's thrown in the towel and in 2 months, she'll be officially (and tentatively) jobless and without a fixed income.

because the next moment, everything could just change. so true.

I guess this is indeed the start of something for my mum, of finally being in control of her own life. Finally being able to make life-changing decisions without interference. She din get the sack, she freaking QUIT. From now on, every step she decides to take is going to have a ripple effect on her future.

She either makes it, barely, or she truely finds herself. Just like me , i think she's lost herself except she's been lost for a really really long time.

Maybe, this IS her time, at 49. Definitely late, but definitely better than never. I figure some people never ever get their "time", cos they either missed it or they just never ever went after it when it din come to them. This could very well be something big, something she's wanted in her life- regardless of how small it is to everyone else out there.

I'm really sure of how much i want to help her though i'm not sure how yet, but i definitely do. She's definitely more lost than me, with so much more taken away from her, so much of what could have been her prime.

For now, i'll do my part and study ( it's another 8 days ) and i sincerely believe that if i truely manage to help her,
i'll find me.

No comments: