I dont get to see you, dont get to hold you and when i'm lolling about on bed half dead i dont have you to hug me. With everything else piling up, this stupid illness, improper meals, trying to clear work bit by bit, being under mad stress , missing so many tests... Sometimes i wish you were lying on the bed with me, for me to bite till the aches all go. But i'm glad even though i dont have all that, one simple phonecall peppered with so much nonsense, me blabbering about my twisted little theories and our usual banter... it just cheered me up and for that few little moments my mind was kinda off things. Bizzare, cheesy, whatever it may be to others, i don give a f (: I think we both felt the same today, even the night is cold and windy! I guess it's just me adding a bit of stuff to make it all seem so much more awesome.
Silly, but i'm going to sleep hugging these thoughts and happy feelings.
I'm fucking sick of taking meds and feeling so incompetent, when i try to work it disrupts me so much. More than a week at home and i haven accomplished anything, i want to get well soon. I cant stand the nausea the dizziness the headaches. i cant dance now, i'm always feeling weak knee-ed when i try. 2 upcoming performances, one on sunday, 2 project datelines to reach, the countless tests i've missed and haven studied for, the packages i've yet to mailed, the trying and the headaches attacking. How bad it is when i tell everyone i'm fine, when my head is throbbing, how i smile when i really just feel like crying. I've never been so sick, my body's always been able to take it. why now, i hope tmr will be better.
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