Saturday, October 24, 2009

find , maybe found.

I've been trying so hard to find a place where i don't feel like an umbrella among toadstools, and i think i've found it. To be exact, i din't find A place. I found many small ones (: I'll learn to find contentment in this, to stop hunting to gel in. Because if it doesn't fit, it's probably because i've been trying to stuff a circle into a triangle. But that doesn't mean i have to start living in my spiked bubble , just a bubble.

Yupp, just a bubble, a pretty 3-dimensional one at that.

" Writing's your comfort. Seek it (: "- estee.

Sooo, i know you'll probably never read this, but thank you estee. For the impartial-ness you carry with you when i tell you about my problems, thank you for peppering them with small little bits of laughter :D i appreciate the effort, the comfort, the encouragement- everything, i appreciate having you walk into my life. OH, and also your eye for detail, for you to say the above, you were really listening (:

I never really realised it, but i really do find comfort in writing. Comfort in having alphabets fly across the screen as my thoughts roll into words and of having the privilege of editing them till they portray what i feel to a fitting T. A world better than my endless banter and blabbering that always comes out wrong and jumbled.

And I take pride in it, always did. I always wanted my essays to be well written, to flow nicely and now when i blog it's the same thing. Because i have no other outlet for my writing and i don't ever want to lose it. I can spend a long time blogging just to get the post up well, because i want to look back on each post and be able to feel everything that i did on reminiscene. Life is fair, i always feel crippled by how i clam up and stumble on all my words, but at least i can write (:

To my Beng:


Thank you for everything as well (:
I admit i feel small beside you sometimes, inferior and lousy, but watch out, i'm learning to grow bigger with confidence with your help <3
Thank you for trying so hard to build it up for me, it really means alot to me.
* alalas to you*

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