Saturday, October 03, 2009

A few days back, i talked to a friend- someone i once held close but not anymore, at least for now... no. There was just this wedge driven in between , her and me, me and another her and i know it'll never be removed. All it took was for that one line to be said for me to realise, i've been judged. Then again who can i blame, keeping mum, painting a picture of happiness and everything's fine on the surface, when deep inside, it's not. Because i thought about another's image in the eyes of others but realised perphaps that person had complete disregard to mine. Honestly, it's been long, i still feel hurt and sore. Probably because I never had a true chance to say off that piece of my mind, or the fact that those who i thought mattered never bothered to truely listen to what i had , what i felt. Or maybe i chose to close up and protect myself once i felt that judgement. I admit, sometimes i wish i could violently shake them and shout in their faces to just listen to what i have to say. But too late. I'm pretty sure there isn't any way to remove that wedge now and this will be the last time i think about it.

Don't play on sympathy and lies. It's really disgusting, falsation. I'm going to be a closet bitch and focus on all the negativity now until all the steam blows off. I'm closing this chapter and putting them at the back of the closet. They'll never be forgotten, but for now, stashed away. I've gotten used to this empty space.

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