Saturday, July 04, 2009

Today, in your embrace, the tears just came.


Today, like the showers of rain,
my tears just came... when you hugged me.
Sometimes, i feel so helpless whenever i speak- the words, they just come out wrong.
They come out incoherent to the tunings in my heart.
They fail to reflect what's truely deep down.
And that pains me, because i cant get you to understand.
Which leaves both of us helpless, helpless souls.
but when you hugged me, everything din't matter.
It was just you and me in that very moment.
Just me knowing that in all the mess, i could still have that embrace.
Overwhelmed, you rendered me speechless.

I havent danced for quite a while, 5 days is quite a while. I guess I'm still in slight post trauma mode after the AGM performance. And all i can say is that there's an insane lot i need to do and that i really love xuehui's lines.

Been a mildly tiring day, nothing particularly exhuasting but i've just been feeling really lethargic of late. I think it's the fat, pok ): . But as always the mood went for a lil rollercoaster ride. As always i go on hibernation mode whenever this happens. As always, i attempt to address whatever shit is bothering me. As always, it's a touch-and-go affair. And as always, i waste my time.

So many things on my mind now.
The biggest issue is my attendance now.
If i fuck up this chance, i'm screwed really bad.
I cant and i will not allow my entire grades to be turned topsy turvy just because the polyclinic doctor issued me a "time sheet" instead of a "mc".
I guess to those around me, those in my class, i'm that girl who doesnt seem to care much about my grades, the girl who's always late, the girl interested in everything else but her studies.
The girl who seems to talk, but no action is done.

Well, i guess they're right.

And i do have priority issues, i do have motivation issues, i do have damning self esteem issues and i do have the issue of taking a long time to pick myself up after i fall.
But it's always better late than never right?
Hopefully i can right this wrong.

Today's the first time, i suddenly felt the internet of was truely such a godsend.
Because today i read meaningful webpages, more than just the usual fashionblogs, friend blogs, selling sites and all.
I read stuff that actually meant something so much more than the usual transient stuff.
Days with my father.
I cried reading this and i think anyone, who chances upon this post should read this.
Doesn take long, has great photos, has great meaning and a reminder that all things would one day come to an end.

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