Thursday, April 30, 2009

once again, it feels like sec 4 all over again.
the same paranoia.

i love looking at confident people.
and to just keep wishing one day,
i'll become like them.
secure and confident.

why is it so hard for me?
why is it everytime i stare into it, i'm just filled with some kind of revulsion.
was i ever that ...
then to be surrounded by them.
then seeing all those and thinking so much.
sometimes it's so much better to be just truely oblivious to small little details,
than seeing them and thinking.
and being so scared by all my thoughts-
trying to brush them aside with a flippant laugh,
but knowing it could very well come true.

i believe in karma.
it's my turn this time round.
i just cant stop thinking.

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