Everything happens for a Reason

haish ..frig her ..

i'm getting screwed because of her.. and on a beautiful sat morn when i'm meant to be free from her wrath... there i was listening to her oh-so-beautiful voice screw up life.again. dammit... what the shit did i owe her in my freaking last life...

reminiscene ... haish.. i miss my earlier childhood.. when i was at home with my mum and bro .. my dad may not have been around at that time but my mum was jus great... i wasnt deprived being in a single-parent family.. my mum was great at coping with my dad's death...everything jus started gettin screwed up when i reached pri sch.. i started staying at that damned place.. shit... stuff got even worse when i hit sec sch.. i get a home thats like a hotel.. and the place i'm staying in is like hell...

yea.. i'm grateful that she's taken care of me.. only that. nothing else. oh ya.. I GOT TO THANK HER FOR SCREWIN UP MY LIFE TOO... yea.. what the hell... my mood swings.. my bad moods.. my vulgarity( yes.. i cultivated that from all my frustrations) ... yes.. now some oh-so-smart person who might read this might think.. ' well if this stupid idiot din have such a weak character she wouldnt have all this negativity' well.. if you're thinkin that way.. frig you. try livin in my shoes for the past 4 years.. and you tell me whether you cna take it.. i seriously don know how the heck i even managed to pass my psle.. i had a breakdown jus a few days before the paper because of her.. yes.. again..and i'm gonna do badly in my mid years.. it's kinda obvious.. all thats happening.. going back to mental torture every day.. haish.. whateva..fuck my life........

i'm an insolent ingrate for writing alll that of a person who's been takin care of me . yes. that i gotta admit. but well.. ...i'll repay her back in some way.. that i'll do...

i had ta go to a playground to seek erm.. hmm.. comfort .. away from her for like 2 hours.. well.. that was the forst time.. and it wont be the last.. i'm going back there again.. i love playgrounds at pasir ris..

yea .. and my mum knows about what i do.. my classmates too.. din know it was that obvious .. it can be seen well.. that cut was friggin deep yas...but din know it was like so damn obvious,.. my mum said she knew why i did it for she made my promise her i wont do it.. but .. its gonna be diff keeping that promise.. shit .. i hate her.. no not my mum.. but that day i was like totally a god damned wreck yas.. the scariest part is.. i din feel much pain... like i dunno. my whole body was numb.. actually that happens all the time..but first time i was bleedin that much.. yea.. i know i'm kinda sick.. i actually have pictures of that wound.. i dunno..i've got a friendster pic yupp.. there's one.. but its like damn cool.. cos its dark but in a nice tone so you wouldnt be able to see anything and you'll think that it was some nice pic of a hand ..un-huh.. artistic :)

i feel so screwed when i carn explain to ppl what she actually did.. so please... stop asking me what the hell she scolded me.. its getting more and more frustrating.. everyone asking me' eh.. what she scold you'.. hello?? how the fucking hell am i supposed to answer that ??!!!!!!!!!!!! so yea.. please stop asking.. thanks...



twice da breakdown...all thanks to her...oh ya.. soryr for the excessive vulgarity .. it wont show up again i hope..